Everyone gets angry at times. Along with fear and other primal emotions, anger is a normal feeling. Science tells us that anger is a biologically programmed response designed to protect us. However, that strong response is usually temporary – it passes quickly when we no longer find ourselves in a threatening, frustrating or difficult situation.
If you think that anger is becoming a constant part of your life, or is unnecessary or out of proportion, it can start to cause problems for you and the people you care about.
This is when talking to someone about anger can help.
Counselling can help you understand what’s behind your anger and show you different and more respectful ways to communicate intense feelings. Learning and understanding anger management techniques – including new ways to communicate – is important if you want to make meaningful and lasting changes in your life.
Do you understand why you get angry?
Your feelings of frustration can build up and explode into anger when you feel unable to cope with stress or have unresolved issues. Often, these feelings are directed at the people closest to you.
Unless you’re specifically trained, it can be hard to find the right words to describe how you’re feeling. A lot of people (and many men in particular) often have difficulty talking about fears, feelings, grief and loss, and finding constructive ways to deal with them. The people around you have no way of knowing the turmoil you’re going through, leaving you feeling frustrated and like nobody understands.
Talking to a trained counsellor about anger management can help you learn healthier ways to recognise, communicate and cope with your frustration.
Can you look at it from a different angle?
In many situations in life, we find that looking at an issue from a different angle, or hearing a different point of view can help us find a way to better resolve issues.
Getting to know yourself better by taking an outside view and examining your thoughts and feelings is a crucial step in anger management. With better awareness of what makes you tick, you can feel more at peace with yourself, improve your self-esteem while becoming more confident in the rest of your life, including your relationships.
Have you talked about it with someone?
Talking to someone outside of your family and friends gives you the freedom to talk about things you wouldn’t normally discuss with them.
Counselling is all about teamwork – you can confide in someone who listens to you and works with you to develop a realistic anger management plan to help you learn to cope in healthy ways and to feel better.
Need help? You can find support services in northern Queensland or complete a self-administered K10 test for depression and anxiety. You can also join the online social and mental health forum to talk with like-minded people.